


A Touchy Subject

by hhhspicy



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Character Analysis, Confessions, Confrontations, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Hand Jobs, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:47:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28299927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhhspicy/pseuds/hhhspicy
Summary: Sniper responds to an ad on the personal column from a gentleman seeking a man for “relaxation and companionship.”   He arranges a meetup at a payphone in town and goes, but the man isn’t who he thinks he is.Alternate summary:  Spy is a touch-starved bastard and abuses his disguise powers.
Relationships: Sniper/Spy (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 66





	A Touchy Subject

Spy had developed a habit of sorts.

He would never admit it, but he often found himself quite lonely while going about his life and missions. He considered himself a well-rounded, capable person, and he rarely had an issue interacting with and charming the people around him. But his identity and line of work made his relationships permanently shallow; he could never permit someone to truly know him, to truly care about him, as long as he was _Spy._ And fundamentally, he was a Spy.

Working with seven men and one pyro who thought of him as untrustworthy and a spook also created a gap between them. For Spy, there were no friendly pats on the back, no spine-crushing embraces after a victorious battle, no other signs of gruff affection the others seemed to share. This didn’t usually bother him. _(Key word: Usually)_

Today’s Sunday was one of those unusual days. He had risen at the crack of dawn in order to prepare for a solo mission. His luxurious room, unique from all of the others’ at the base, was carpeted and arranged in purple and cream hues. It usually brought him a sense of calm. But at the moment, laying on the cream silk sheets in a too-large bed, a part of him longed for someone to hold him, to touch his bare skin without malice and revel in the comfort of cuddling. 

_Ugh. How juvenile,_ he thought idly. He cringed at himself, but his skin itched and he knew that today, he’d continue this particular habit he had developed. 

When he returned to the base, at around 4pm, he nodded politely at the scattered mercs he encountered, and felt a sense of peace. His mission had gone smoothly. That, and he had prepared and submitted an ad to the Teufort newspaper. It would appear in the personal section in tomorrow’s print. He’d put it in the silly dating ads if he could, but “Man seeking man” is an invitation to be arrested, of course. He had done this a few times in the past year, with both women and men. It was sexual most times, but Spy didn’t mind when it wasn’t.

The base received it daily as well, which was fine by him as his disguises would change every time he submitted an ad, on the rare occasion that he submitted a pic. He had paid extra to do so this time.

………

The kitchen smelled of buttermilk and explosives; the whole team was present for breakfast, and Spy was eyeing the Texan preparing the food to ensure nothing suspicious was going in it. They heard the familiar thud at the door, signaling that the paperboy Ms. Pauline specifically selected had just thrown today’s newspaper at the door.

“Ooh, I’ll get it,” the Scout jumped up from his flapjacks, shoving Medic in the process. 

“Watch it, _Dummkopf_ ,”

“Ha. Ya don’t even read them, son,” Engineer guffawed. “Ya only get ‘em to hit up ladies in the dating column. Anything panned out yet?”

“Mind ya own business! I’m getting close to landin’ a date, alright? Not my fault most of ‘em want some old ass dude,” he said defensively. 

Demoman roared with laughter at that, while Sniper chuckled lightly. 

Such immaturity, Spy thought, but he admired Scout’s genuine and constant efforts to keep a romantic life even while in RED. Holding his newspaper delicately, he found his ad quickly and admired the handsome stranger he had selected for the photo.

The disguise was of a brown-haired man, with a cheerful-looking face; it awaited him in his disguise kit. He had a similar angular nose to Spy’s, and was around his height and build, but other than that, responders would be none the wiser. Spy smirked. Now began the waiting game. 

He was completely unaware of the fact that across the table, Sniper was eyeing the same photo, and reading the lines underneath it. 

_Gentleman seeking fellow for companionship and relaxation. 35 years of age. Enjoys travel and chatting. Contact at: ***-***-***_

Sniper dog-eared the page and continued his breakfast. 

………

Sniper wasn’t really sure what he was doing. He wasn’t actually planning to do anything with the ad, but once he had finished grocery shopping in town, he found himself making his way to a phone booth with the page ripped out in hand. Swiping his tongue across dry lips, Sniper punched in the numbers and swallowed thickly as it rang. 

The crinkled eyes and what looked to be light freckles spotted on a sharp nose stared back at him. He only said companionship, Sniper thought. That’s alright. Nothin’ wrong with getting off the base once and again, meeting new folks. 

He jumped a bit when a voice came through the phone.

“Hello, Thomas speaking.” The voice was low but pleasant. He lilted his words.

“Er, Hello. I’m callin’ about your ad.” 

The other side of the line went strangely silent. Sniper shifted his weight from one foot to another.

In a hotel just outside Teufort, Spy glared at the phone in his hand. He knew that voice, and he knew that accent. He immediately considered hanging up. A nagging voice in his head told him, though, that this could be interesting. 

“Oh! Sorry about the wait,” he said with a light chuckle. “So, were you interested?” 

“Ye- Yes. I’m Fred, by the way.”

Spy smirked. _Of course you are_ , he thought.

“Nice to meet you, Fred! If I can remember, I think I put a few things in my ad. What exactly are you interested in?” he asked.

“Er… well... you?” came the bashful reply.

Spy could almost hear the Sniper squirming, and grinned. That scratchy voice was inexplicably endearing to him.

“Well, Fred, would you like to meet up somewhere and chat? I’m only in Teufort for work, so I’m at the Robinson Inn. It does have a lovely restaurant though, have you ever tried the crepes there?”

Sniper chuckled. “I don’t even know what those things are. That’s right outside o’ Teufort, right?”

“Sure is.”

“Yeah, let’s meet up… er, when are ya free?”

“This weekend, if my boss doesn’t change my plans. That work for you?”

“Yeh. How ‘bout Saturday? Mmm... Ya want me to bring anything?”

“Just yourself,” the Spy said coyly. “I’ll be waiting at the dining hall at 6. We can chat more then, hm?”

The Sniper nearly choked up. He spit out a quick, “Yeh, see you then,” and hung up the phone as soon as he heard Thomas say goodbye.

………

The week went by in a cacophony of explosions, team shenanigans, sharp pains the back (for Sniper), and infuriating deaths by headshot (for Spy). 

Currently, the sniper was hastily combing his hair back, trying to smooth the cowlick at his nape with no avail. He started his van while swishing mouthwash between his teeth, spitting it out the window as his mind raced and his fresh-shaven face stung. 

Crikey, it had been a while since he had actually made an effort for any kind of relationship . He secretly hoped Thomas would take the initiative, because he hadn’t even arrived and he already felt a mess. 

Once Sniper had checked into the hotel, he made his way to the outdoor restaurant seating, spotting the man fairly easily. He was in a rolled up button-down and slacks, sitting cross-legged at a small white table. He waved over the Sniper when he saw him.

They embraced, and it would have been friendly if Spy- sorry, _Thomas_ , hadn’t dropped his hand down to Sniper’s lower back and lingered for a bit too long. They sat.

“Ya look nice,” Sniper offered, almost shyly.

Spy’s internal monologue was shocked at how well Sniper cleaned up; yes, he could see nicks from Sniper’s hastily shaven face, and his taste in perfume left much to be desired, but he looked handsome in his tucked-in shirt and dark trousers. 

Tilting his head, the disguised Spy smiled. “So do you. Now, let’s order, I believe I promised you a dinner.”

………

“And then- Yes, I did have pants on at this point, she-” Thomas had to pause in his story to get his snorting laughter under control, while Sniper wiped away tears of mirth.

“Ya sound like a real crazy bastard, mate,” the Sniper said.

“I was seventeen! Actually, it might have been 16, I’m not sure… Anyways, I’m sure you weren’t a law-abiding citizen in your youth, _”_

“I- ta be honest, the worst I did was getting drunk off of moonshine I stole,”

Thomas quirked an eyebrow..

“An’ even then, it was my dad’s,”

He wasn’t sure how they’d ended up reminiscing on past escapades, but the man across Sniper seemed to have charmed it out of him. He’d even told him about his childhood in Australia, becoming nostalgic about memories he hadn’t thought about in years. 

But there was something that was bothering him; Thomas felt slightly familiar. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, perhaps his mannerisms, or the way he laughed… For a split second, Spy felt a pang of concern when he saw something akin to recognition in Sniper’s eyes. But the moment passed as soon as it came.

“I’m sorry, we kind of trailed off there,” Thomas said. “I’m not gonna ask you about your private life, unless you’re comfortable sharin’ it, but I am curious… why did you respond to my ad?”

“Why did ya write it?” Sniper responded.

 _Cheeky,_ Spy thought.

“I asked you first.”

“Ya wrote it first- aw, fine. I s’pose… Well, I’m usually fine by my lonesome, but sometimes… y'know. Ya want someone there other than you.”

“Ah, you have a sensitive side, I see.”

Sniper scrunched up his face. “Don’t tease.”

………

After arguing about who paid (Sniper held that no one would ever pay for him, while Thomas bickered it was his invitation in the first place), they had split the cheque and walked back to Thomas’s room. Sniper stood near the doorway pleasantly full, heart pumping because of the uncertainty.

The disguised Spy closed the door, and eyeing the Sniper’s stiff posture, said, “Let’s just relax for now. The bed’s comfy, you know.”

To demonstrate, he bounced onto the large bed and lay flat, grinning with the freedom of an unknown man with no expectations on him. 

A surprised smile graced Sniper’s narrow face. He allowed himself to sprawl out on the other side of the bed, tentatively staying a few inches away from the other man. That is, until the other man knocked the air out of him by essentially rolling onto him. 

“Wot-”

“Thought it’d be a good way to break the ice.”

Sniper snorted. “I’ll give ya that one, ya wanker.”

The disguised spy lay limply on top of him for a moment, feeling the warmth and weight underneath him and humming in appreciation. 

He twitched a bit when Sniper wrapped his arms around his middle. _He would murder me if he knew who I was_ , he thought. He felt a bit guilty, but he felt so relaxed in the moment that he simply melted into the taller man’s arms, holding him back.

Thoughts drifting, Sniper thought about how he hadn’t been embraced since his parents had died. By a friend or partner, even more time had passed. He had forgotten how nice it felt to be touched.

Sniper was rubbing small circles into the other man’s lower back when the disguised Spy buried his head into Sniper’s neck, planting a small, experimental kiss. Sniper squirmed, muffling his laughter at the ticklish sensation. 

The Spy felt an exhilarating rush in his chest, and he was suddenly wide awake. He felt overwhelmed by the domesticity of it all, and by how much he was endeared by Sniper’s mannerisms and awkward charm. By how _excited_ he felt to get to know the stoic man, to make him smile. He glanced at his arm, and the tanned, freckled skin that did not belong to him. 

He had a strange thought: he wished he wasn’t in a disguise. An even worse one: he wished Sniper knew who he was, knew who he was embracing. He quickly wiped the thought from his mind.

“Ey, ya alright? Ya froze up there.” 

Spy released the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding, shifted his stiff legs, and replied, 

“Yes, quite alright.” He tried to get comfortable again.

He felt something slip out of his pocket as he curled his legs around Sniper’s.

Sniper reached for it when he felt it brush his own leg. Sniper held it up in his hand for a second, when Spy realized what it was. His disguise kit. Dread coursed through his body. Yes, it looked like nothing more than a cigarette case to the average person, but Sniper was all too familiar with the device.

His expression dropped.

Spy went on the defense, immediately ready to flee. Sniper, shocked, looked at the man with a burning face.

“ _SPY?”_

Scrambling to stand as well, he gave the man a hard shove. 

“Lose the disguise, ya fuckin’ bastard!” 

Spy pulled out his butterfly knife. They were still in respawn’s reach; he considered shanking the Sniper and fleeing, when Sniper grabbed him roughly, gripping the knife and holding his arm away from his body. 

“Oh no ya bloody don’t. Tell me _right now_ what you think yer doing?”

The Spy, for once, was at a loss for words. He was sure Sniper had seen the way he had melted for him. Humiliated, he aimed a kick at Sniper, but the other man pressed in close to him to prevent it. The disguise dissipated in a mist as the disguise kit fell from Sniper’s hand and clattered to the floor. Spy said nothing still.

“Who- did the administrator set ya up to this?! To get information from me-”

“What? No! I- how could that be the case, you’re the one who answered my _public_ ad, you imbecile!” 

Spy squirmed in Sniper’s grip, getting ready to bite the Sniper’s arm to regain control of the fight. Before that happened, Sniper released his vice-like grip.

“Alright, then what?! Ya put that ad there fer what?”

“It’s none of your business what I do with my personal time,” the Spy spat venomously.

“Ya made it mine, bastard! What did ya invite me for? Ya knew it was me on the phone, ya must have!”

The Spy glared at him. There was nothing he could think of to wriggle out of this situation, he was already flustered and caught.

“I just wanted to- _augh._ It’s best if we both leave now, I assure you I have gained no _blackmail_ on you, bushman. I never should have… I apologize for this, I will be leaving.”

He turned on his heel, angry at himself and at Sniper, and began to stalk towards the door, when Sniper jogged after him, gripping his shoulder. 

“Wait-” 

“Please. Do not ask me to explain. I’m embarrassed as is.”

He wrestled out of Sniper’s grip and turned the doorknob fiercely. Sniper was frozen, not sure what to do for a few seconds.

“It was nice,” Sniper blurted. He squeezed his eyes shut at the impulsive words.

“What?”

"Just... I don't understand. Why did you pretend?”

“Why did I pretend?” Spy repeated.

“Why did you say those things t’ me, an’ why were you all- all affectionate with me?”

Although the words loathed to slip from his lips, he simply had to know.

The Spy forced himself to ignore his first reaction, which was to lie. Even he wasn’t sure why he was doing it. Maybe he felt like he really did owe Sniper an explanation. It certainly was not because he wanted him to know. 

“I was not pretending. You will never believe me, but I did it because I would never be able to otherwise. I wasn’t going to take it farther, just…”

A silence fell between them.

Spy looked strange like this. No arrogant smirk, posture weak. 

“I’m not following,” said Sniper.

“Let me put it this way. Would you have shared your story with me if you knew who I was? Did this with me?”

“Well, o’course not-”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause you’re the bloody spook,” Sniper let out a laugh of disbelief.

“ _Exactly.”_

Sniper frowned. 

“You… wanted to go on a date wit’ me?” he asked hesitantly.

What skin was visible under Spy’s balaclava was flushed pink.

“At first this was nothing to me. But my actions were true. Everything I told you, everything I did, I did as myself. I… I wanted to get to know you, and I suppose the answer to your question is yes.”

In that moment, Sniper saw Spy as not just a backstabber, but as a man earnest for affection in his own strange way. And as a backstabber, of course. The two are not mutually exclusive. Spy was looking back at him, with barely contained nervousness behind a set face. Sniper reddened under the gaze.

“But me, mate? Ya could probably get anyone you wanted, why would you want to go out wit’ me?”

“Anyone I wanted, hm? Does that mean you find me attractive?” 

Sniper groaned. “Spy, please.”

Spy rolled his eyes. But for Sniper’s sake, who had clearly speedran the five stages of grief during this ordeal, he resisted the urge to tease. 

“Fine. I know I can appear…”

“Like a right bastard,” Sniper offered politely.

“Yes, like a bastard,” Spy nodded. “But I do find you attractive, and your lifestyle and personality are as mysterious to me as they are charming.”

Sniper’s face was now entirely red. “And ya couldn’t jus’ tell me that? That’s cowardly if ya ask me, Spook.”

“Good thing I did not ask you then! I did not even know if you were _into_ men, and even then you’d think it was a trick! Tell me I am wrong.” 

“Fine, fine, yer right.” There was long pause. “Well, then wot now?” Sniper asked, rubbing his neck in what Spy had noticed was a pacifying habit of his.

“Well, I am interested in you, and I would like to clarify you’re interested in me?” 

“Hmph.” 

There was no way to gracefully return to their previous situation. All Sniper knew was that he wanted to keep touching and getting to know Spy, and vice-versa.

“C’mere, ya bastard.”

Sniper walked to where Spy stood, hesitated for a moment, then leaned down to kiss him, soft at first, then deepening it when he was not shanked by Spy. Spy sighed through his nose, trying to hide his relief. This was one of the few times Spy had actually feared rejection.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Spy murmured when they broke apart. Running his hands down the lanky man’s chest, he gripped at his hips and pulled him against his own body. Walking backwards, hands exploring, they fell backwards onto the bed.

Sniper’s tongue explored Spy’s mouth in an amateur French kiss, making Spy grin at the sloppy effort. In return, he bit hard at Sniper’s lip, appreciating the huff of warm breath it produced. Evidently, he had no qualms with being rough with the bushman. He let his nails grip his broad shoulders, his teeth graze his down that tanned neck and left bruising red marks in their wake. Despite the turmoil that had occurred so little ago, the type of passion was quickly changing to a more primal feeling, as if this new opportunity, even though gotten so awkwardly, needed to be explored immediately.

“So d’ya wanna-”

“ _Yes_ , bushman, we can talk about our sentiments later,” Spy gasped out.

Sniper’s undershirt was stripped from his flushed chest, and he laughed when Spy folded the undershirt as if it were a fancy blouse. Trailing his hands down Spy’s abdomen, Sniper felt the smooth skin left by burn scars near his ribs and unbuttoned the shirt, fumbling and trailing his lips down the now exposed skin. Taking it a step further, he began palming at Spy’s groin, nervously looking at Spy to gauge his reaction. 

Spy gave a strangled sort of gasp, twisting his hips up to meet the bushman’s hands. Sniper caught on, rubbing him through his slacks with differentiating pressure, first lightly to make him squirm, then firmly to tease a groan out of him. Spy grabbed Sniper's hips to grind against, rubbing circles in the divots of the tanned hips, slowly and deliberately to create a tremulous friction that made Sniper totally overwhelmed with sensation.

“Feel good?” Spy grinned at the flushed man above him, getting a confirmatory “Yeh,” in return. He slipped his hand under the waistband of Sniper’s slacks, stroking his length and circling the head with his thumb. While his hand worked him over, Spy kissed and nibbled at Sniper's chest, watching him melt under the touch. Not wanting to end this escapade too soon, Sniper pulled away from Spy’s touches to tug at the other man’s slacks, stroking Spy’s length with the lube provided by precum, and moving down to give him a blowjob. Spy shimmied into position, smirking at Sniper with a smug expression. This expression disappeared once Sniper took him into his mouth, Spy’s hands flying to Sniper’s head and gripping his hair. Sniper lavished him with his tongue, clearly inexperienced but eager to please. His nails dug into Spy’s ass and hips in order to prevent the man from thrusting into his mouth, which Spy did nevertheless.

The Frenchman didn’t last long, coming with a sharp moan and a tightening of muscles. Sniper grinned up at Spy, who looked absolutely bulldozed and took a few moments to recover with shaky breaths. 

After though, Spy wasted no time in wrestling Sniper into a satisfactory position on the bed, pulling out his erection completely and giving him a blowjob. His stubble contrasted with his soft lips made for a variety of sensations, which had Sniper gripping at the bedsheets and muttering under his breath, swearing and trying not to beg. He was brought to the edge by Spy’s impressive deep throating, coming with eyes squeezed shut and a desperate gasp.

He lay there, chest rising and falling. Spy came up to lay next to him, collapsing with a satisfied “Hmph.”

“You’re talented.” Sniper managed. His hair was almost comically disheveled. 

Spy snorted. He would have shot a witty reply, but he felt too much of the sleepy giddiness that follows sex. Instead, he idly scratched at Sniper’s chest and back, trailing his fingers over the new territory and listening to the appreciative deep breaths next to him. 

He knew this was quite un-spy like— getting so close to someone who you can’t be caught with. But when Sniper’s arm came around his shoulder to hold him closer, he couldn’t bring himself to care much.

He had gotten what he wanted initially. But with a excited flutter in his chest, he realized he had found a lot more too.

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to gay thoughts by the growlers when I wrote the end, wWOOOOOOOOO
> 
> Also feedback is super appreciated! My porn-writing skills (and story writing skills in general) leave much to be desired so please flame me as if you were a pyro and I were a spy. Thank y'all for reading, there's more to come soon.,.,.,


End file.
